‘Tis the season to be jolly…so here’s a little seasonal greeting. A few years ago, a good friend of mine was a partner with a London firm of solicitors. They annually did a good job with their Christmas cards, sometimes artistically but on this particular occasion grammatically. In tribute to the hard work performed each year by Santa Claus (shown woodenly on the home page here), they came up with this – Santa’s Clause:
Mr Claus (“the Supplier”) undertakes to supply goods (“the Goods”) as per written request from the writer (“the Recipient”) and to deliver the same by 25 December, air transport to be provided at no cost to the Recipient. The Supplier shall have no liability for any damage caused to chimney pots, TV aerials or household property, including fixtures, fittings or other chattels, belonging to the Recipient. The Recipient shall indemnify and keep indemnified the Supplier against any injury, loss or damage suffered by him as a result of narrow chimneys, log or coal fires, savage household pets, screaming children or any other event of any nature whatsoever. Delivery of the Goods shall be deemed to have taken place upon their having been placed by the Supplier in the stockings provided by the Recipient for that purpose. Mince pies, sherry and other victuals provided to the Supplier shall be treated for accounting purposes as a gift and non-taxable.
Very good, hey? I know that lawyers have a bad name (as the joke goes, like all the Beckhams’ children) but I think you’ll agree there is some wit about that.